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Twelfth Night; or, don't buy a cow if you're from out of town and the farmer gives you a family discount


Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

In the foreword to Lolita, Nabokov lampoons those "old-fashioned readers who wish to follow the destinies of 'real' people beyond the 'true' story". Misguided as I might be, I've always wanted to know what happens after Twelfth Night. Does Feste ever return to Olivia's? Does Malvolio continue his Puritanical reign in a different household? Can Viola's mercurial grace satisfy Orsino's fickleness?

But the question that keeps buzzing around my head is this: what about Sebastian and Olivia? A couple of spares, auxiliary yet too important to leave unwed. Why not pair them? Olivia's beautiful, Sebastian notes, and—whatever her temporary madness in loving him—evidently clever enough to run a household. A lovely prize for any man in Illyria.

Oh, Sebastian, a good hanging prevents not all bad marriages. Will her love outlast each time you speak to her, when she hears Cesario's voice, sees Cesario's eyes, grasps for Cesario's hand, yet finds none of his music in your pedestrian words? You cannot be her Cesario. You can't even find him, this man who spoke more gently and felt more keenly than any other man, unless you convince your sister to put off her woman's weeds.

So what will you do? Live second to a shadow and become a ghost in your own house? Strap on wax wings to imitate Cesario's soaring verse? You'll stumble, and Olivia will pity you. All this for a few blissful months. Don't marry her. She'll swear that she loves you. Who ever loved a stranger at first sight? It's a dream that she loves, and what do you know about dreams? Certainly not enough to surpass one.

Find a nice girl in Messaline, Sebastian. At least your name means something there.

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